Effective Series: Self-Control

The need for self-control makes itself evident in so many situations—many of which fly under the radar and others which we might feel are blatant acts of disrespect toward God. From the moments we wake up to those in which we lie our heads down (and sometimes even in those exact moments) we're given choices. Say what you want about the free-will/predestination issue—I've got an opinion for another time—we are all given hundreds or thousands of opportunities to decide every single day, and the choices we make have a huge impact. The frequency with which we make a choice that's good for us has everything to do with our ability to discipline ourselves, and vice versa. It also happens to be next on this list of traits which the apostle Peter deems to be necessary for effectiveness and fruitfulness.

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control..." (2 Peter 1:3-5).

What is Self-Control?

I don't plan to bore you with elaborate definitions and long-drawn tales of the origins of self-control, it seems to be fairly self-explanatory. Simply put, I'd say self-control is something like "the ability an individual has to submit to their best judgement.*" When we speak on self-control, this is usually what's meant; although it's absolutely possible that someone could actively choose to make decisions detrimental to themselves or society, we tend to put those people in jails, asylums, or hospitals. It's also true that the motivations behind certain decisions we make could be completely different, resulting in different—though equally effective—outcomes. What's vital is that, at the end of the day, we make decisions which move us closer to our aim: the spreading of the Gospel.

This difference in immediate results is part of the beauty of humanity in relation to God. Each of us is made in His image, and each of us has been given the same "Great Commission," but we're given different ways to proceed—different gifts and talents and desires. This difference between individuals creates unique opportunities to exercise control. The Bible mentions meekness as a virtuous trait (essentially restrained, unexercised power); but before exercising control in restraint, some of us have to spend time building up abilities or power worth restraining. Depending on the person this could mean getting in gym to produce a strong body, spending time studying to produce a strong mind, or spending time practicing speech to produce a strong voice—any of these things could hurt someone, but they'd need to be built up first. Even things like the ability to listen need to be built up and controlled. I think that this truth shows some intentionality on God's part. Look at what came before self-control in Peter's list.

*That could just as easily define "obedience" if we switched "their best" for "God's best."*

The Need for Self-Control

Faith, virtue, and knowledge; these traits are necessary parts of a strong foundation, for reasons I've touched on before: faith creates the conviction to move, a strong character can pave a path for you which would otherwise be closed off (either by God or by other people), and knowledge is like fuel to our imaginations. Each of these things is great, but it's easy to get caught up hyper-focusing on a good thing and creating problems or preventing the creation of solutions. A lack of self-control in a moment can cause us to stumble, this is almost inevitable. But a habit of forgoing self-control renders each of those traits Paul listed before (and those to come after) lifeless, counterproductive, or obsolete in practice. One of my favorite anecdotes for self-control comes from 1 Corinthians 9. In it, Paul speaks on the many rights and rewards he's entitled to: food, drink, marriage, rest, "spiritual things" (verses 3-12).

Paul doesn't grasp so quickly to these rights of his, though; this chapter is his defense against any allegations that would be brought against the purity of his mission. Paul was absolutely free to take any of these things on, he was a free man after all. But rather than risk allegations of materialism, he chose to hold off for the greater eternal reward. This might sound like a "holier than thou" moment from Paul, but he's demonstrating, perhaps in its most extreme form, the fruit of self-control. Take a moment to think of the possible negatives and dangers associated with each of those good things: gluttony (overeating), drunkenness, sexual immorality, laziness, pride. Rather than risk association with any of these things, Paul chose a path of radical self-control. His big claim, one that I think we ought to hang onto ourselves, is that only those who play by the rules are eligible to attain the prize. God's the one who makes the rules and it's our responsibility to play by them.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an unperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Practical Self-Control

Most of us can’t make drastic shifts immediately or on our own. And most of us aren't called to exercise restraint in those specific areas (God requires different specifics from each of us, but obedience is mandatory). An intense focus on individual traits or actions can actually distract us from the main goal: relationship with Christ. If you’re looking to develop self-control, it may be more useful to focus on Christ than on every little thing you wish you'd do differently. Acknowledge them and pray about them—yes. Let them distract you from God’s love, grace, and mercy—never.

The reason a focus on Christ is important here is because, like I noted earlier, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5). The same Spirit that dwelt in Christ dwells in us, and the more intentional we are about our relationship with Him and modeling our character after Him, the more the whole fruit shows up in our lives. The Word gives us a lot in terms of what the conduct of a Spirit-led individual looks like, I'll note some below. But one thing I will stress again is the importance of making self-control a habit. If we're to be as effective as we can be in our call, it will be important to ask this question as often as we can: What would Jesus do?

Be blessed.

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Verses to Look Back On:

2 Peter 1:3-11*

Proverbs 25:28

Romans 12:9-21

Galatians 5:16-25

Colossians 3:1-17

2 Timothy 1:6-14