Di Bassinga Diaries: On Filling Up Properly

I've struggled to find true rest in these last few weeks. I've spent many a moment in silence, enjoying a view or a breeze; I've laid for hours reading the words of other great minds and pondering the essences of their messages; and I've spent hours enjoy the company of many of my favorite people. While all of these have done well to bring momentary peace, even peace for a whole day or week, I continue to run into this wall. In the midst of these beautiful things, I've struggled to find the motivation or desire to do my school work, to rise early in the morning to work out or have breakfast, and I haven't been rooted in my disciplines. I'm writing to you in complete transparency, because it's a lack of transparency within myself that has led to a moment of disconnection. Let me elaborate.

I've been thinking on the idea of rest for the last few weeks, and each time I get a draft started it falls flat, because what I've written has felt disingenuous. The core of my thought has been this: What does it look like to fill up properly? This idea of "being filled" is one that comes about many times in Scripture, in reference to many different things, and I think it paints an excellent picture that we all ought to be mindful of. To me it paints an analogy of our bodies and beings as vehicles--and rest is our fuel. Unlike a car, or truck, or plane, though, we have the ability to fill up at all points during the day without it costing much more than some time and effort. Each of those, I believe, is absolutely a price worth paying for proper rest. But the question then becomes, where should I go to fill myself up? If you're Christian, there's an obvious answer to this question, but I took it upon myself to find an answer that would work for "everyone"--believer and non-believer alike. This is my goal with the Diaries--to offer a Christian perspective on the issues that plague us all the same--but, I ran into an issue this time around. It's one that ties directly into this entry, so hang on for a bit.

This "rest" I speak of is one that comes from more than a need for sleep at night or an extra 2-hour long nap during the day. Sleep is absolutely vital to the proper functioning of a human being, so please don't hear what I'm about say as "sleep doesn't matter," but I believe it is paramount that we look for rest in more active, intentional places. I, for example, find that reading, writing, and exercise (especially basketball and volleyball, lately) do wonders for my mood and energy. It's in activities like these that I can rest and be filled whilst simultaneously giving myself to something (usually in the form of creative effort). I believe that each of us has activities like these; something that we can usually fall back on to either escape from or embrace reality, to fill our tanks back up to a level where we can feel comfortable sharing our gifts with the world again. In these last few weeks, I've attempted to go to these activities to find my rest, but there's another layer of this filling up that I had ignored in this search: Each of us lives from a source, and it's in connection to said source that our "resting activities" will be most productive and restful.

As a Christian, my source is Jesus Christ (it's kind of in the name); there are many scriptures that elude to Christ being the source of life for those who've given themselves to him in faith. Now, you may or may not be a believer in Jesus Christ, or in any God at all, so this is where I got lost in my search for a blanket response to this train of thought. I believe with all my heart that Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Light, and I could go on for pages on the goodness of God and the importance of the Gospel, but if it's not Christ for you (and thus the focused study of Scripture and intentional prayer), then I can't really tell you what to connect to. If you're in need of rest, I urge you to go to your source to find said rest. Get connected to the things in this world that make you who you are. Perhaps it's family, or friends, or a hobby, or a religion, or a relationship with your Creator; whatever that thing is, closest to your core, be mindful of it at all times.

(In acknowledgement of the risk of running long, I will end this entry here, but I may pick this idea back up for a series at a later time). For the last few weeks, I've said all the right things; I've had every bit of knowledge that I needed to find the rest that I seek. I was so close, so many times, to returning to this place of rest, but I continuously neglected the most important part of the search: for me, that's intimacy with God (another topic for another time). If nothing else, take this notion with you: True rest will only come once you've recognized and returned to your source. Basketball, volleyball, hunting, running, chess, painting, business building, and whatever other restful activity you decide to indulge in will lose all effectiveness if you've forgotten the kettle that fills your cup.

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Verses to Look Back On:

Psalm 4:8

Matthew 11:28-30

John 15:1-17

Philippians 4:6-7

Galatians 5:16-25

Colossians 3:1-17